Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Woodhall Spa Ramblings

Can't sleep. Shouldn't really be trying to, it's 11.30 for fucks sake.

Stuck in a hotel in Woodhall Spa, the Golf Hotel to be precise. It's very nice. I'm not really stuck, I suppose. Working in Coningsby for the next/previous few months, so this place is my home on weekdays now.

I'm directly above the bar right now, which means that I have a decent wi-fi connection, but I can also hear everyone getting pissed downstairs. Fucksake.

The Polish girl behind the bar seems to be here all the time. Vacuuming at 7AM while everyone eats breakfast, pulling pints at 10PM... and I'm giving myself a pat on the back for doing 50 hour weeks.

I don't think these hard-working Polarks are sending their pennies to loved-ones back in the mother country. There has to be something more sinister going on. I mean, why else would people be upset at all the forrins? Why else would Noble Nick Griffin be all padlocking up them plumbers doors, yeah?

Well If we look at the growth of the Polish economy in the past five years, it's pretty exponential. Their GDP is now the 2nd biggest in Europe after Germany, and I've read reports that military spending accounts for 14% of that (The UK percentage is at 2.5).

Scientists have also recently isolated the "Polish" gene, too. It creates a strong desire to support the Polish Republic in times of need, along with a taste for sausages. Approximately 19% of the Western world are said to carry it, which is essentially why World War II only really kicked off when the Nazis decided to interfere in the North-East. Fuck Czechoslovakia, right? Anyone fancy a kielbasa?

All this information taken in together adds up to something. It's difficult to say what, as the Polish are presumably intrinsically harmless. It would be unthinkable for them to rise up and annex their European bretherin just so they might get a little respect, right?

God, hotel rooms are dull. Thank god I have an HDMI-out, an HDTV, and a lot of American TV to help waste precious time.

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