Sunday, August 16, 2009

Down and out in Westgate, Wakefield


This Friday was messy. It was always going to be a little bit, but it worked out worse than expected. Here is a long and winding post detailing the events, which is more for my benefit than anyone elses. TLDR is a valid response to this shit.

I got into work an hour or so later than normal, clocked out at 12 and went for a pub lunch with Rich & Splint. They followed me back to good old Wakefield, where we had a few beers to get things going, and played video games like the grown-up children we are (Scene It! and Rock Band, in case you're interested).

I had my first Domino's pizza for tea! It was pretty good, if a little more expensive than the generic, local pizza takeaways. I would definitely order from them again. I still haven't eaten at a proper Pizza Express restaurant, or ordered from a Papa John's. I'm very naive when it comes to chain-Pizza.

Anyway, I took my two workmates into cosmopolitan Wakefield at around 6ish. Our taxi driver was a little bit too talkative, and he was far too keen to show off the rear-view-mirror slash hands-free-kit that his wife had just bought him.

We went to the Jockey (a metal pub) to play Point Break, which is one of the finest arcade games ever made. Sat down after that, the place was pretty dead except for some drunken old bloke, who ambled up to us, complained about Tetley's costing £2.40, and then shuffled on back to his seat when we didn't respond in a warm and welcoming manner. We finished our drink, and headed for Inns of Court, which is always pretty busy and seems to be the favourite pub of the town Indie kids.

This was when Ben rang me, who is one of my best mates from uni. He split up with his girlfriend on Thursday, so I invited him out. He drove down from Bramham in Leeds, parked up at mine and I met him in town and took him back to Inns of Courts, where everyone seemed to get along and we all switched to delicious rum and coke.

Next stop was The Hop, which is one of the newest pub/bars in Wakefield. It's really very nice, and there's usually a good mixture of old and young people. There's always 5 or 6 local beers on tap too. I went for a chocolate stout, which was delightful. We sat down on one of the tables, and sat around for a good 2 or 3 rounds. The table next to us actually featured some minor celebrities, which is quite unusual for Wakefield. They were Ross and Ryan Jarmin from out of The Cribs, an Indie band that I actually like. Ross is out round Wakefield quite a bit, but it's unusual to see Ryan, who has a bit more exposure and has appeared on stuff like Buzzcocks etc. Ben, Splint and Rich didn't recognise any of them though, so obviously not that famous.

This next bit I'm not so proud of. I gave young Benjamin a tablet, and told him to keep shtum about it. Splinter is a bit anti-drugs, and I didn't really want to disappoint those guys as I was supposed to be showing them a good time in my home town. This didn't work out so well in the end.

So, after the Hop, Splint wanted to go to a bar. We went to X-change, one of the most horrifically scally places in Wakefield, which is saying something. Pumping dance music, girls with make-up painted onto their faces, vodka alcopops everywhere. Soul-less, sweating thugs with over-sized shirts, blood-shot eyes, and super-glued, spiked hair. That kind of thing. It was funny for about a minute, then the novelty quickly wore off. So we had some white russians at Mex, a nice, busy, cocktail bar, and then we all went to Mustang Sally's.

There was apparently a bomb scare in Mustang Sally's. Either that or they were having problems with the music while some sort of band set up, but we thought that "bomb scare" was the better of the two theories, and went with that. Mustang's is a club that plays 'cheese', and is full of a mixture of old people and young people. Loads of old people on a Saturday, not so many on a Friday thank god. It's attached to Quest, which is very much a young people club. Being young people, we went there, wondered about, did a little bit of dancing, and sat about upstairs for a bit.

It was upstairs that Ben told me that he'd let Splint and Rich know that he was on pills, which sort of soured things for me. I thought they'd be disappointed in me, which they had every right to be, and I did ask Ben to keep shtum, if you remember. Ben wasn't making much sense either, and was convinced that the other two were all drugged up and happy as well, which he kept repeating. The fact that they'd left us to go explore the dancefloor while we sat and talked bollocks didn't help the matter either. It was rubbish really, we weren't being very inclusive, I was a poor host.

After we found them, it was time to go to Escobar, the late-night bar/club that is free to get in, open til 5, and caters to the Indie sorts. When it's good, it can be one of the better places in Wakefield. It was pretty good, pretty enjoyable, but the dance floor cleared and we were all ready to leave at 3.3o. Especially Rich, who had been knackered for a bit I think. When we got to the taxi rank, Ben started asking "Is this it?" and "Are we done?", and essentially dragged us all the way back to Escobar, where we pottered about a bit more. Only me and Rich were bothering to dance, Ben and Splint were getting the drinks in which nobody really wanted at this point. One hour later, back in the taxi, home. I had to direct the driver, because he was new.

Got home, Splinter was sick in the brown bin, which was pretty funny. Got him upstairs, and found him five minutes later passed after being sick in the toilet, which was funnier still. Took a bit of effort to wake him up and get him to bed, but he got there in the end. Gave Rich a sleeping bag, as he would've had to play Daddy-spoon if he wanted any covers. Left them to it!

Ben was still awake, so we watched Ferris Bueller's Day off, attempted to play cards, talked bollocks, and both passed out in the front room about 7. I woke up an hour or so later, and dragged myself upstairs into a proper bed.

After a whole hour of beautiful sleep, Rich and Splint woke me up asking to use the shower etc. They were ready to leave, Rich had an appointment of some kind at 2. I spent about an hour talking bollocks with them downstairs before they left. I think we were talking about how Hercules was a bit of a bastard, and how he cheated at a lot of his tasks, like when he injured the uncatchable deer that he wasn't supposed to injure. He diverted that river to clean out the stables too, which was irresponsible in so many ways.

I went back to bed, and woke up about 5pm, which is ridiculous. Ben got up about the same time, and he was on the settee, so that's even more ridiculous. We watched Princess Mononoke, drank a few cup-a-soups, and just moped about a bit. Ben left about 8ish to go meet up with his girlfriend, Roo. They patched things up, thankfully. They're a good couple.

I'll leave it there. I hope I didn't come off as too much of a twat to Rich and Splint, and I hope they had a good time, because it was a bit awkward for me. I hate it when social worlds collide, I don't know why I sometimes think it's a good idea. Ah well. Goodnight.

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